Could our president actually be an illegal alien from outer space, possibly similar to the one on the left seen in the movie "Men in Black II" (2002)? True, the president does not look quite as "robust" as the alien pictured, but they do shrink, you know, especially with age. This could be a case for the Men in Black to investigate (provided, of course, the agency has not been defunded 😱)! Time to cue the Twilight Zone theme music? 🎶🎶 Have a great spooky season, everyone - if you dare!
If you have not seen this hilarious video yet, be prepared to laugh hysterically! A clueless Texas attorney attempts to join a Zoom court hearing using his secretary's computer, unaware that her young daughter has turned on a filter that turns the user into a virtual cat. The poor man struggles on while trying to figure out how to turn off the filter, and even says that he is prepared to carry on regardless, uttering his now famous line, "I'm not a cat!" With the judge's help the lawyer eventually manages to return to his human form, but history had already been made, and the video has gone viral worldwide. Luckily this man has a sense of humor, and has said that he is happy to bring some humor into our lives, even if it is at his expense. Maybe trying your case as a cute kitten is not such a bad idea - who could possibly rule against that adorable feline face?
If you have not seen this video yet, you are in for a treat as well as a good laugh! A puggle seems to be making fun of his Corgi buddy, imitating his friend's low stance by walking on his knees and elbows. At one point the Corgi barks at the puggle, who immediately jumps up onto his feet and I swear looks as if he is totally clueless about what the fuss is about, only to resume his silly walk once again. It is no wonder that this video has gone viral! I hope this clip makes you smile for the rest of the day - enjoy!
What is the scariest type of YouTube video for Halloween 2020? Well obviously that would be a political pre-election music video, of course! This one, brought to my attention by one of my neighbors, is actually pretty funny and very well made, although Trump supporters may not be amused. You have to admit, though, that whatever your political leanings, this sort of video is perfect for Halloween. Enjoy it or not, but I have a feeling that November 3rd will be even more frightening than October 31st this year. (Even so, please remember to vote - in fact, I hope you already have!)
And if you want to hear the original "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", watch this YouTube video (and just try to get this earworm out of your head for the rest of the day!):
I am not a big fan of slasher films, but this short horror film parody of the "Halloween" movies is only scary at the very end, and until then is actually rather funny. In the three-minute video, Michael Myers returns to his home town of Haddonfield on Halloween to once again wreak havoc, only to find that his favorite holiday has been cancelled thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic. He searches in vain for victims, and is about to give up in despair, only to be confronted by an angry "Karen" who verbally assaults him for wearing a mask. Needless to say, this confrontation does not have a happy ending (or does it?).
Have a safe and happy Halloween, and don't forget to wear your mask!
Bonus: Click here to play a fun and not too scary Halloween escape game!
I have been reading a lot of mystery novels lately during our COVID-19 lockdown. A nice cup of tea is always the best accompaniment to a good read, and while I am normally a mug sort of person I have been seriously thinking about getting myself the Mystery Lover's Teacup ($29.95) from Signals. On the outside it seems like a traditional, rather ornate floral cup and saucer. Look down at the bottom of the empty cup, however, and you will find this cleverly hilarious message:
"You have been poisoned."
Once again it is the little things that make our shutdown bearable, and finding this sly message at the bottom of my cup when I finish my tea would amuse me every time (obviously I am easily amused!). Are you finding simple ways to keep yourselves amused these days?
With so many of us under orders to shelter in place, it is no wonder that we are all looking for creative ways to spend our extended time at home. One of the most popular pastimes turns out to be baking (just try finding a packet of yeast at your local supermarket!). Personally, I love to bake but since I am on my own and trying to stick to a low-carb diet I have mostly resisted the urge to bake. Apparently there are a number of people out there who should have done the same, as shown by the number of epic baking fails posted online recently! Just take a look at some of these amazing results (and their accompanying hilarious comments) from Bored Panda:
Egg custard pie (that lump in the middle is supposed to be the bottom crust)
Fortunately these would-be bakers approached their baking fails with good humor, and most seemed willing to try again. I almost wish that I had attempted and failed at a baking project of my own, just so that I could have similar amusing images. I would send them to family and friends to add a bit of fun to their day, something we could all use at the moment. Happy baking, everyone!
I think we are all just a little tired of Vladimir Putin's Machiavellian machinations when it comes to our nation's presidential elections, so I decided it was time to come up with a slogan to express exactly how we in the United States feel about his actions. So here it is, Vlad - my belated Presidents' Day gift to you! I do hope you enjoy the sentiment, because we mean this sincerely. Pack up your high-tech toys and go home, Mr. Putin, because we don't want you playing around in our nation's politics any more. Good-bye, and don't let the door bang you in the behind when you leave.
If you are looking for a great way to waste a little time enjoy a spot of entertainment, I have a couple of suggestions for you. First up is the YouTube series Liziqi Channel, which follows the life of a lovely, fragile-looking but strong young Chinese woman named Li Ziqi who runs her family farm pretty much by herself, with a little help from her grandmother. This woman does everything by hand (no mechanized devices and rarely work animals involved). She grows, harvests, prepares, and cleans up her field crops, and somehow manages to make it all look wonderful in her films. Beautiful landscape and nature scenes plus serene music are added to footage of her everyday farm work, which appears deceptively easy but in reality must be challenging if not downright grueling at times. When you watch these short (about 5-10 minutes long) films you will be enchanted, but also grateful for the relative life of ease that most of us lead.
My second suggestion is the new website from Gary Larson, the cartoonist who was wildly popular a few decades ago (OMG, has it really been that long?). He produced quite a few books of The Far Side cartoon series collections back in the day (most of which my husband and I own), but stopped drawing them for quite a while before returning with this website. Now he publishes five cartoons a day Monday through Friday, plus two a day on the weekends, so you can look forward to a good laugh every day! While the cartoons are not new, it has been a while since most of them were first published, so it is nice to see them again (and Larson has said that he may just add a few brand new ones upon occasion!).
Should you feel the need for a short break from your own daily life, visit these two sites for a brief visit to the simple rural existence of a hard-working young Chinese farmer and the amusingly bizarre world of a gifted cartoonist's imagination!
Just a little something to brighten your day - the annual T-Rex Race at Emerald Downs in Auburn, Washington! While I am not sure how you tell individuals apart unless you can see their official numbers, just the sight of those ungainly heads bobbling about as the costumed contestants attempt to complete the course was enough to have me laughing through the whole race. And in case you missed it, Regular Unleaded was victorious, beating out Rex Girlfriend by a tail. I'm looking forward to watching next year's fun-filled contest!
Okay, I know I declared I would no longer post comments about our feckless leader, but after his Independence Day speech how could I resist? That little snippet above about our Revolutionary War from the president's speech had me laughing so hard I did not even notice the evening fireworks in our town on the Fourth of July. Of all the possibilities I was expecting from Trump's teleprompter talk, the day's best comic relief was not even on the list!
Of course there was much bafflement about the supposed 18th century American airports, and many people were quick to point out that the paraphrased "The Star-Spangled Banner" was written about events during the War of 1812 and not the Revolutionary War. I suppose our Army had to man the air, whatever that means, as the Air Force did not even exist at the time (and neither did planes!), but why in the world would we ram our own ramparts?
And Trump's cherry on top of his delightfully nonsensical statement? Our president blamed the rain, which knocked out the teleprompter and forced him to rely on his excellent memory to continue his speech. Which means that the gaffe-filled remarks were all completely of his own making! I think Trump missed his true calling as a stand-up comedian - who else could possibly come up with such an onslaught of hilariously erroneous historical commentary so effortlessly? Thanks for the laughs, Mr. President - you put on a truly mind-boggling and surreal spectacle of a show as only you can do, for all the world to watch!
Nobody hugs the nation's flag better than our feckless leader!
Blackened vegetables (those burnt bits were once summer squash 😞).
Sometimes I think certain holidays were invented specifically with me in mind! June 13th is Kitchen Klutzes of America Day, and I certainly have my fair share of klutzy kitchen disasters that qualify me as a member of this group. Just last night I put a pan of vegetables in the oven to roast and, as I usually do, after they were done I left them sitting in the turned-off oven with the door open a few inches to let the residual heat evaporate some of the excess moisture. Unfortunately, I forgot to turn off the oven when I did this, so they continued to roast, albeit very slowly. Also unfortunately, I forgot the pan was still in the oven until several hours later. Miraculously, they were not burned to a crisp, but they did become more like vegetable chips than roasted veggies (and were actually very tasty, but definitely not what I had in mind!).
Our beloved Gia was quite the food thief!
My most recent holiday mishap was on Thanksgiving several years ago (Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday to cook for, because for me it is always a disaster waiting to happen!). I do not normally make mashed potatoes for this holiday because there is always the turkey stuffing as the carb-heavy side dish, but my husband loves mashed potatoes and I decided to be nice for once and add them to the menu. When they were done I had no counter space on which to place the pot. I ended up having to put them on top of the refrigerator to keep them away from one of our dogs at the time, who was a shameless counter surfer and could not be trusted for even a moment.
Unfortunately, my husband decided to be helpful and fill the water and wine glasses on the table, so he opened the fridge to get out the drinks. Our fridges sits in a cubby hole, so the potato pot was sitting on the narrow edge that sticks out. Part of that edge is the top of the fridge door, so when my husband opened it the pot came crashing to the floor and mashed potatoes spilled everywhere. Needless to say, we had no mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving, the counter-surfing dog got the potatoes anyway, I now have a permanently dented pot, and I will never to make mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving again!
There are several more kitchen disasters from my past that I could mention (like the frosting that wouldn't die!) and I am sure several more in my future as well, but I will spare you those details. You can read about the kitchen calamities of a few other kitchen klutzes here. Have you ever had a catastrophic cooking experience? If not, then you are one lucky cook and probably deserve some sort of award! 😄
Do you remember the The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror VI segment called "Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores", where advertising icons came to life, caused mass chaos and destruction, and were only defeated when they were ignored by all Springfield residents? Even Lard Lad succumbed after Homer was scolded by his family to stop paying attention to the giant doughnut boy's insincere promises. If you do not remember or never saw this segment, you can watch it below:
I have come to the conclusion that our president thrives in the same way that Lard Lad and his cohorts did. The more attention Trump can garner, good or bad, the more he seems to feel that his existence as president is justified. Whenever attention is diverted away from the POTUS, he will resort to any measure, no matter how ridiculous, to bring the focus back to himself. Unfortunately, the more oddly he behaves, the more likely we are to look in his direction again, which simply reinforces Trump's tendency to do anything to steal the limelight.
So what is the solution? I believe that Lisa Simpson and Paul Anka got it right with their "Just Don't Look" jingle! The only way to diminish Trump's influence is to downplay the man's increasingly outrageous actions as mere clownish showmanship, and to instead concentrate on the actions and ideas of people who truly deserve our attention. With a presidential election coming up in 2020, it is time to focus on Trump's successor. Our current president will no longer be getting any attention from me. If the man is out of sight then hopefully he will soon be out of mind (or will go out of his mind, perhaps, although some will argue that he already has). The more people are willing to ignore Trump's follies the more likely this solution will work, so I hope others will follow suit.
However, I could not resist one last comparison:
Eerily similar!
(image at left from YouTube; image at right from Woke Sloth)
Are you a fan of Dr. Seuss (aka Theodor Seuss Geisel), that iconic creator of whimsical and immensely popular children's books? Then you will be delighted to know that a new book from an original manuscript by the author, found posthumously, is about to become available! The book, entitled Dr. Seuss's Horse Museum, tells the story of a friendly horse who takes a group of children on a tour of an art museum. The unfinished manuscript was completed by illustrator Andrew Joyner, and includes photographic images of horse-themed artwork by famous artists in addition to the illustrations.
The book will not be available until September 2019, but you can pre-order a copy on Amazon here. Incidentally, at the same time the manuscript for this book was found, a unpublished complete manuscript was also discovered, which led to the publication of the best-selling Dr. Seuss book What Pet Should I Get? in 2015. If you are like me then I am sure you will feel the need to own this book as well, which can be ordered on Amazon here (or from other sources such as Target). Happy reading, fellow Dr. Seuss fans!
I doubt that the lovely ladies were at fault for the awkward moment shown above when the President and the Czech Prime Minister abandoned them on the steps of the White House. Did the husbands not notice that their wives were not with them? Or did they just not care? The two women, after a presumed eye roll and noticeable shrug, handled the situation gracefully, but who does not think that the men got an earful in private later on?
And on to another awkward moment, when Trump decided to once again hug the nation's flag at a political event a little over a week ago. At first I thought I was the only one who found his rather graceless gesture odd if not downright creepy. Then I found this blog post which made me realize there were indeed others who thought his gesture was uncomfortably similar to inappropriate canine behavior:
Heaven help us, even their facial expressions are similar!
(image at left from YouTube; image at right from Sowetan Live)
Oh dear, once you see this eye worm there is just no un-seeing it (sorry, folks!). Please, Mr. Trump, if you must hug Old Glory at least give her a one-armed buddy-type embrace, rather than a full-body throttle that just looks perverse!
Poor little Donnie Trump would like to dedicate the above song to both Kim Jong-Un and Michael Cohen, former bromance buddies who made his life miserable last week. For those who would rather just see the lyrics: Where is the Love
(Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway)
Where is the love (7 times)
Where is the love
You said you'd give to me
Soon as you were free,
Will it ever be,
Where is the love?
You told me that you didn't love him
And you were gonna say goodbye,
But if you really didn't mean it
Why did you have to lie?
Where is the love,
You said was mine all mine,
till the end of time,
Was it just a lie,
Where is the love?
If you had had a sudden change of heart
I wish that you would tell me so,
Don't leave me hangin' on the promises,
You've got to let me know.
Oh how I wish I never met you!
I guess it must have been my fate
To fall in love with someone else's love,
All I can do is wait
(that's all I can do).
Yeah yeah yeah
Where is the love (vamp until end) (Songwriters: Ralph Mcdonald / William Salter Antisia
As our president prepares to wing his way to Hanoi for a rendezvous with his beloved Kim, we were reminded once again last week that little Donnie Trump may not be the best judge of character:
Trump with New England Patriots owner and major Trump donor Robert Kraft, recently charged with solicitation of prostitution at a
massage parlor suspected of involvement in human trafficking
(image from The Boston Globe).
Trump with Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta, recently charged with
illegally concealing a plea agreement with wealthy hedge fund manager
Jeffrey Epstein, convicted sex offender who abused dozens of
underage women (image from Vox).
Trump with former campaign manager Paul Manafort, convicted last year
on tax fraud charges and recently found guilty of lying to the FBI,
Robert Mueller's investigators, and the grand jury after pleading guilty
to conspiracy and agreeing to cooperate with the Mueller team's
investigation (image from Chicago Tribune).
Trump with former campaign advisor Roger Stone, recently charged
with lying to Congress and obstructing the House Intelligence Committee's
investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election,
and now barred from speaking about the criminal case against him after
posting a threatening photo of the judge assigned to his case
(image from Decider).
These examples are just the most recent in a long list of Trump associations gone awry. Let's hope he has better luck with the North Korean dictator. Or if not, perhaps Trump would be better off further pursuing his friendship with another Kim (since somehow this post seems to have ended up highlighting some of Trump's and his friends' sartorial selections as well):
On this Presidents Day, we find ourselves in a state of national emergency over a southern border wall. Naturally, right after declaring said emergency last Friday, our fearless leader immediately left town for a leisurely long weekend of golf in Florida (because that is what you do when you consider the nation to be in crisis?). In case you missed it, you can watch Donald Trump's extremely long and confusingly rambling speech here, or you can enjoy yourself and watch the much shorter and definitely more coherent Saturday Night Live version below:
As a bonus, here is the Weekend Update segment from SNL, also covering the national emergency declaration:
Of course, little Donnie does have other things to worry about besides a national emergency. He just completed his annual physical, and the verdict is in - Trump is now officially obese. He probably decided that a weekend of golf was a good way to start a personal weight loss campaign.
But maybe he should have addressed this issue last year when he was warned that he was only one pound away from obesity and was given guidelines for a healthier diet and more exercise by his favorite physician. Instead, little Donnie felt that it was a great idea to serve fast food burgers, fries, and pizza at an official White House event, and also proceeded to go into self-imposed (and presumably physically inactive) confinement in Washington to protest not getting exactly what he wanted for his southern border wall. No wonder he gained four pounds instead of losing the 10 to 15 recommended last year!
On this Presidents Day, when many federal workers and government contractors are still trying to deal with the aftermath of the longest government shutdown in history, political leaders of both parties grapple with the repercussions of a baseless national emergency, and our capricious president, like some modern day Nero, plays golf while the nation is in turmoil, let's try to enjoy our official government holiday. Strange days indeed!
Donald Trump's favorite way to start the day - watching televised new stories about Donald Trump (created using SuperLame! with image from Outside the Beltway).
I doubt that anyone was surprised to find out from the leaked information about Donald Trump's private schedule that he spends very little time actually engaged in presidential activities. Only 15% of his day is spent in meetings, mostly made up of his daily presidential briefings (with an emphasis on "brief"), but a whopping 60% of his time is spent on activities such as watching television, reading newspapers, and tweeting or making phone calls in response to what he sees and reads:
Donald Trump, large and in charge - of the TV remote
(created using SuperLame! with image from Time).
The President's day starts very early, but he spends the first five hours in his private residence rather than in the Oval Office engaged in these unstructured activities, euphemistically dubbed "executive time" by his administration (but known in the real world as "recess", of course!). It is no secret that the man who once claimed that he does not watch much television in reality watches about 4 to 8 hours a day. And why does he watch so much TV? Here is his own explanation:
Because who knew that governing the nation would be so much work, and why would you meet with federal government bureau and department experts in person for in depth discussions of important issues when you can just turn on the boob tube and let it tell you what to do?
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