Current Events: U.S. History According to Trump

The rain made him do it!
(from Hollywood Life)

"Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over airports, it did everything it had to do... "And at Fort McHenry, under the rocket's red glare, had nothing but victory.  When dawn came, the star-spangled banner waved defiant."

Okay, I know I declared I would no longer post comments about our feckless leader, but after his Independence Day speech how could I resist?  That little snippet above about our Revolutionary War from the president's speech had me laughing so hard I did not even notice the evening fireworks in our town on the Fourth of July.  Of all the possibilities I was expecting from Trump's teleprompter talk, the day's best comic relief was not even on the list!

Of course there was much bafflement about the supposed 18th century American airports, and many people were quick to point out that the paraphrased "The Star-Spangled Banner" was written about events during the War of 1812 and not the Revolutionary War.  I suppose our Army had to man the air, whatever that means, as the Air Force did not even exist at the time (and neither did planes!), but why in the world would we ram our own ramparts?

And Trump's cherry on top of his delightfully nonsensical statement?  Our president blamed the rain, which knocked out the teleprompter and forced him to rely on his excellent memory to continue his speech. Which means that the gaffe-filled remarks were all completely of his own making!  I think Trump missed his true calling as a stand-up comedian - who else could possibly come up with such an onslaught of hilariously erroneous historical commentary so effortlessly?  Thanks for the laughs, Mr. President - you put on a truly mind-boggling and surreal spectacle of a show as only you can do, for all the world to watch!

Nobody hugs the nation's flag better than our feckless leader!