Saturday, November 19, 2011

On the Homefront: Thanksgiving Is Coming! Thanksgiving Is Coming!

This Is How I Feel (from Cheezburger)

Have you ever had one of those moments when you felt just like a one-person disaster area -- a veritable harbinger of doom with the ability to destroy everything your path?  Well, folks, this week that would be me.  I started the week off with a bad case of the flu, which has gradually worked its way into my sinuses so that I now have no sense of smell and very little sense of taste (although I noticed this morning that my taste for sweet things is returning).  My husband is out of town so I am muddling through on my own.  Not great, but not much different from other bouts of the flu (and BTW, I did get the flu shot, so this is one of the types not covered).  However, in the last 24 hours life has taken a distinct turn for the worse, if not the downright bizarre.

It all started when I tried to turn on the water yesterday afternoon.  Nothing.  Okay, someone probably cut our line again -- it happens on a fairly regular basis in our rural Georgia location for reasons best left undiscussed.  Sure enough, when I called the city clerk to report our lack of water, it turned out that a company putting in a new sewer system had indeed severed our water line, and now had to reroute as well as repair the line since it was in their way.  Naturally the fellow in charge of the Water Department (who seems to be the only employee and who only works for our town part-time anyway) was out of town due to a death in the family and our local city clerk doesn't work on Fridays, but the kindly clerk in the next town over helped me (bless you, dear lady) and our water was eventually restored.

After letting the water run outside for a while to clear the lines, I started running water through the lines in the house to flush out the air.  All went well until I flushed the master bath toilet, which is one of those water-saving vacuum pump-type deals.  Somehow the air in the lines messed up this toilet and now the water won't stop running -- I will need to call a plumber on Monday.  Heading to the TV room to flush the downstairs powder room toilet, I noticed a strange glow as I entered the room.  The TV screen had taken on a new look -- all black with a glaring white line of light across the middle.  After fussing with it a bit and talking to the cable company, we decided the TV picture screen had burnt out -- time for a new TV.  How does this relate to the ruptured water line?  Not at all -- it was just a bizarre coincidence.

This morning I got up early to walk the dogs -- it has been days since I have done this since I was too sick until now.  We got home and I prepared to feed them, which is our normal routine.  I put some liquid medication in the microwave to warm, as usual, and was rewarded with dazzling sparks and angry pops.  I hastily turned the machine off and opened the door.  The medicine bottle was fine, but one side of the microwave had a black blister in the middle.  Probably foolishly, I took the bottle out and reset the microwave for a few seconds, then watched in idiotic fascination as a thin line of fire worked its way down the blister.  I turned the thing off again, unplugged it, and hauled it outside to the trash (luckily today is trash day).  Now we need a new microwave!  As I sit here writing I fervently hope that this is the last of the freakish household disasters -- bad things only happen in threes, right?

My husband returns tonight and we are supposed to go out of town on an overnight trip tomorrow.  When I came down with the flu I tried to postpone our reservation for a later date but the B&B will only do that with two weeks notice (which I would have gladly given them if I had known two weeks ago that I was going to come down with the flu).  They did agree to re-list the room on their website, and if someone else reserves it by noon today we will no longer need to pay for it.  If not, I guess I will drag my sneezy, wheezy, coughing body to that B&B where with my current luck I will probably end up infecting everyone there with this flu virus.  According to my calculations, there is a 48-hour incubation period, so all of those holiday travelers and staff people can expect to start feeling the symptoms right around Thanksgiving Day -- sorry, guys.  As for me, I will try not to destroy any more appliances or toilets, enjoy any sweet things being served, and savor a hot cup of tea while at the B&B.  Oh, BTW, did I mention that the only temperature I can feel is from food or drink in my mouth?  For some reason, the sinus congestion renders me incapable of feeling ambient temperatures -- whether I go outside in a T-shirt or a parka, my body feels the same temperature-wise.  Go figure.

All of this leads me to the whole point of this post.  Since I will be spending a lot of time recuperating from the flu, replacing appliances, calling plumbers, and trying to prepare for the holiday, I will probably not be posting anything on my blog Thanksgiving week.  I will also probably be sending my poor husband out to buy ready-made food for our Thanksgiving meal rather than trying to cook anything. (Have you ever attempted to cook when you can't taste or smell the food?  I don't recommend it.)  Hopefully things will return to normal the following week.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Update:  I just found out that the B&B was able to rebook our room, so the rest of the world is safe from me for now!  What a relief -- I would have hated to ruin anyone else's Thanksgiving holiday!

At Least I Hope I'm Not! (from Mizunogirl's Blog)

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